Calming moments and stressful moments. This was written during a period of time I was in a cognitive behavior therapy group. It’s a good reminder for me so maybe it might help others.
1. Watching tree branches, leaves or needles, dance in the breeze. I could watch for long time
2. Stand outside with my face in the wind, watching clouds tumble
3. Watching a baby laugh. Better still, laughing WITH a baby
4. Wandering with my camera amidst beauty and no timeline to think of
5. Coloring a mandala. Once upon a time I even drew several mandalas of my own
6. Peaceful music, meditative
7. Realizing how simple it actually was to fix the washing machine leak. Melicio helped change the hoses.
8. listening to an elder tell stories
9. peaceful melodic music, flute, piano, nature sounds,
10. Dancing in the rain
11. Smelling the air The first time it rains after a dry spell. Petrichor… that smell actually has a name of its own.
DISRUPTIVE MOMENTS, STRESSFUL
1. Can’t find something (I spend a lot of time looking for things, a LOT)
2. Someone’s response seems irrational to me, this was a big problem with past dysfunctional relationships.
Often it would trigger a fight or flight reflex, but neither option was viable so instead i would start shaking, internalize, meltdown and go catatonic. Often takes a day or two to recover if that happens, and i become emotionally numb.
3. Thinking about finances. At all.
4. Looking at the mess in our yard
5. Looking at the piles in the house and in my bedroom and in the garage. And in the carport.
Not knowing how to deal with something like the washer leaking, so many weeks of changing wet towels.. And then actually fixing it took about 10 min to move the stuff away from washer, another 10 mopping up and pulling back linoleum and setting the heater in there overnight. Replacing hoses, maybe 5 minutes. So much stress from avoiding something so easy if i could have gotten my mind to work.
6. even thinking about where to start with bookwork
7. making decisions, choices. Sometimes I miss out on a good day I could be doing a drive about in nature because I cannot decide which way to go.